Chapter 11

If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman."

-Margaret Thatcher

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I sat on the bed with my wedding dress on, eyeing the stick that was taunting me. I mentally counted the minutes to pass by to finally see the results as silence lingered in the air. The ill sensation in my stomach wanted it to be no more than imaginary.

But I knew better than that.

I never gave much thought to that possibility not even when my sleeping pattern started to change and not to forget those unusual cravings that started recently.

Not after skipping my periods by a week.

My head spins and sweat slicks my skin

by just imagining what if my doubts comes out true? A shudder passes through me by the mere thought of it.

I had neglected all the clear signs from past one week as that single thought brought back all the bone-chilling memories of that night, when I had woken up naked beside a stranger with no memories of the previous night.

A disgusting shiver passes through me just reminiscising his dirty hands on my body. I was so terrified that morning that I didn't even stay back a minute there, to look at that bastard's face.

I just remember blacking out completely in the hallway before a stranger held me up in his arms. Whatever happened that night I definitely know that I was not in right state of my mind. Infact there was no way I could have lost my conscious and blacked out on my own, unless it was some ploy.

The splitting headache & dizziness I had that morning made my assumption of having some kind of drug in my body stronger. My skin prickles and a nauseating feeling erupts in my gut by remembering that fateful night.

No.. no don't allow your thoughts to drift there.

I don't want to remember a single moment of that dreadful night.

But it's already too late. A voice in my mind speaks. I push it back, the same way I pushed all the nightmares aside from previous 4 weeks. It was the night of my life I couldn't never forget.

The night I lost my chastity to the scoundrel who probably used me that night for his feral desires.

What if I'm pregnant.... My body went cold and hot simultaneously, flight and fright responses kicking in. What the fuck am I going to do with a baby?

I start fidgeting unconsciously with nervousness seeing the little plastic sticks that are placed a little away from me, clearly a foot or two away.

But I couldn't gather the courage to pass that little distance feeling like a huge rock is placed on me.

It was now or never.

Just move. Just get up .

But I couldn't take a step ahead.

Finally I reach out my trembling hands to the three different pregnancy tests that are lying infront of me.

'No.. no....god please don't let it happen', I chanted the same words repeatedly in my mind as I took them into my hand.

But like all other time he didn't listen my prayers. My eyes glistened with unshed tears my throat constricting as I saw the two faint lines appeared on all three of them.

No...no. this can't be happening, atleast not today; not on my wedding day. It doesn't matter that, this is just an arrangement for my gain. But a wedding is a wedding and I decided to abide by all the vows I was going to take infront of the God atleast till the short period of time that I remained married to him.

But what now?

Why did I find this out now of all other time?

The universe definitely had the most fucked up sense of humor.

I didn't remember the last time I cried. But now I couldn't hold in the stream of tears that rolled from my eyes down the cheek. I physically broke down on the floor......

God, what should I do now?

My life just shattered into millions of pieces infront of my own eyes.

I clutched my stomach tightly as I let loose the hysterical sobs that I was holding back since the day I woke up beside the complete stranger.

No....no this is not true. I'm sure my eyes are deceiving me. How can this happen to me of all people. Why me?

This is not normal. Atleast not for a girl like me. This is downright scandalous. Having a baby out of wedlock? The society will never hear me out even if I am the victim in this case.

Not to forget my family. I have always played the role of perfect daughter of my family. Nina is too much old-schooled to accept this.

My body shook with panic just thinking about my family's reaction. Fear caused my stomach to clench. How can I face my dad? Rishi?

I would never be able to look in the eyes of my family from here on without feeling the shame for my actions. That thought made my sobs to increase.

"Sam they are waiting for you..... the hell! What's going on here?", Elena's eyes widened in panic seeing me on floor in disheveled state.

"Samaira... what's wrong..." , her words stuck in her throat as her eyes landed on the little plastic sticks on the floor.

It took her few minutes to put together the things. As soon as she realized her eyes widened in terror.

Her mouth worked, but no words emerged as she stumbled back a step and sank onto the couch leaving me on the floor.

"Sam........You are pregnant", her frightened tone was like a splash of cold water on my frenzy nerves. And I couldn't control the another round of hysteric sobs that broke through me.

"Damn.......Sam, I was not judging you", she rushed to me with concern lacing on her face.

"Sam, look at me. No... don't cry. I'm there for you. Let's deal with this together. Now please calm down", she hugged me trying to calm me down.

"Shh... relax Sam. Strengthen yourself. Try to take deep breaths", she held me in her arms for minutes letting my sobs

to die down.

She pulled back slightly cupping my face.

"Now tell me, who is the father?"

My heart wrenched in pain hearing the

sudden question for which I didn't had the answer. "I .... don't know"

"I really don't know anything about that bastard", I choked out.

Her face contorted in confusion, "What the fuck you are telling Sam?"

"How can you not know about the father of your baby?"

Baby? A sudden chill passed through my spine hearing the one word I feared the most.

Baby....No..no.. there was no way I was carrying a baby inside me. Though it's technically a cluster of few cells now. But still I can never think of having the baby in my chaotic life.

No... I'm not doing this. I can't do this.

"Why are you silent?, speak up Sam", she shook my shoulders harshly as if that will help her to get her answers.

"What? What do you want to hear? You want hear that I was drugged ? And some bastard used my body to satisfy his carnal needs? Or better yet, do you want to hear that I was fucking forced?", I screamed at her, finally losing my calm.

Her face lost all the color and she went pale.

"Oh Sam. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry", she lunged at me holding my shivering body tightly.

"I will kill the bastard responsible for your state. Tell me did you atleast see his face?"

"N....no", I shook my head explaining everything to her.

"I'm damn sure that asshole Jason is behind this", her eyes burned with fury.

"He is going to die in my hands".

"No", I suddenly voiced out in panic. "I don't want this matter to leak out and escalate". No no I can't face my dad in the eyes if the matter reaches upto him.

I will deal with this matter in my way.

"What are you saying, Sam?", she eyed me in disbelief. "I'm sure you are better than hiding behind the closed door rather than facing your fears".

"This situation is different", I shook my head closing my eyes tightly.

"Sam, what are we going to do now? Your family is waiting outside. They might call you outside any moment now. Your dad sent me to check on you", she said realizing the complexity of the situation we are stuck in.

Family. Not one but two families fate depends upon my decision now.

"No. I can't do this to Nick. I can't betray his family", I shook my head. There has to be a way out of this situation. There had to be.

But all other ways seemed to be closed at this moment. I have to call off this marriage. With that thought I wiped away my tears and scrambled out to reach my phone.

"What are you doing now", Elena was hot on heels behind me.

My fingers shook as I stared down at the familiar number on my screen.

"I'm going to call Nick"

"Shit! Sam no....", I didn't give heed to her tensed voice as I inhaled a sharp breath and pressed the finger on the dial button.

For whatever twisted reason he was hell bent on marrying me, he will definitely stop it once he hears that I'm pregnant for a stranger. Who wants to marry a woman who is carrying another man's child, right?

Maybe informing him about my situations is no way good. He might just find a perfect reason to defame me infront of my family. Somewhere in the depths of my mind that little voice continued to call out warnings to me.

But I was too far gone as he picked up the call after two rings.

"Tell me"

No hello, No greeting, just to the point.

His cold voice sent a bolt of unknown fear through me and I had to clench my fingers in a tight fist to avoid them from trembling by his harsh tone.

The line went still as I couldn't form any sensible words in my mouth.

The situation itself is not sensible enough.

Did he hang up on me? No I could hear his harsh breathing sound.

"N....Ni..Nick..", I stuttered unable to form any words.

I could hear his harsh breathing from the other side. Is he angry because I called him Nick?

No Sam, you have to do this.

I gathered up the tiny bits of courage that was left me and started to speak.

"Nick, the thing is....I...I'm...I'm.. I wanted to inform you that, I'm.....I'm.....",

the next words came out of his mouth froze me in my spot making my eyes go wide in shock, halting my breath for a moment.